As for me and my house, we will vote for Basil
This is simply amazing. If it is a joke…its the best I’ve ever seen. If it’s not a joke (and it isn’t) it’s the best I’ve ever seen.
Check Basil’s website out, notice some of the following quotes (I have left spelling and grammar as the author wrote it):
Make sure that if national insurance is put in place, I will make sure the roots of such bill with not inclued any type measuring of the waist like other counties.
Vote for me and if I win I will immune you from all state crimes for the rest of you life!
I believe we must hate the U.S. Flag because we fly the wrong one and when we fly the right one we and the government fly it wrong.
The right too bear arms against our government and not burglars must be protected
I find it hard to take a campaign fund from anyone because if they give me money they expect something and then they seal it with a hand shack . I think this is bribery
so to keep everybody honest lets put all funds in one bucket, then divide the bucket by cities, counties and state ,then divide those buckets among who ever once want to run and nobody owes anybody.People Called to stop Slavery at traffic stop they all say county court can not overrule supreme court ,but no-one will help while 1.8 billion is stole by false arrest
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Republican Gubernatorial Primary Battle Watch ’010 – Tennessee | ||||
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Finally! I’m growing up!
I’ve got great news! I’ve just received an email offering to solve all of my manhood issues! Woohoo! I’m not quite sure who sent it because it appears that it was actually sent from my own email. It must be some sort of surprise late birthday present. Anyway, I look forward to seeing how this mysterious giver teaches me how to fix cars, build things out of wood, repair lawnmowers, read sci-fi, and other manly things that I have somehow missed out on in life.
So whoever you are, thank you so much for thinking of me.
Sincerely,
Ryan
Hey Trigonometry…you’re a tool
I realized this morning that I tend to mock things that I don’t understand. This realization wasn’t a joke, it was a genuine awareness that when I don’t really “get” something I somehow end up mocking it. Uber conservatism is an example. I don’t really get why/how people believe that stuff and therefore end up making jokes about it. It’s a bad habit, a destructive habit, and a potentially hurtful habit. I should stop. And I will. Tomorrow.
But sometimes, I realized, it can be a pretty funny habit. What if I started mocking everything I didn’t understand… literally everything…including trigonometry or organic chemistry. So without further adieu here’s my first “I’m Mocking You Because I Don’t Understand You” list:
- Hey music theory, why don’t you find something better and more productive to do. Notes are for telling people thank you. Loser.
- Hey laser pens, yeah thanks a lot for helping me to point at my Powerpoint slide show. I only wish there was another easier way to do it…oh wait, I have a finger.
- Hey you, cellular technology, thanks for the radiation in my ear lobes.
- Black and white, are you colors? Are you the absence of colors? Or what? I may not know exactly what you are, but I’m pretty sure you’re boring. Go hang out with purple and learn to have a good time.
- Hey Dow Jones…who are you and why did you eat all of America’s jobs? Hungry? Try a hot pocket next time. Dow Jones jerk.
- Dear Colin Powell, why isn’t your name Collin? Thats kind of weird, maybe you should stop being weird. Weirdo.
- Hey there Ugh boots, you’re Ugh-ly. You make me want to Ugh-chuck my dinner.
