This all happened on Saturday. The events are chronicled just as they occurred. Read with caution.

12:01pm– Jessica and I left our campsite for a leisurely walk on the beach.

12:03– As we walked to the beach we saw a man trying to chop wood. It looked awkward. I was grateful that my father taught me how to chop wood.

12:05– We arrived at the beach and started collecting shells for my children

12:10– Jessica asked if it looked like there were an animal laying on the beach about 150 yards away.

12:11– I told her it was a large piece of drift wood. She hesitantly agreed.

12:15– We saw a Police SUV race by and stop by the aforementioned driftwood.

12:16– We decide that Jessica was right, Ryan was wrong, and we begin heading the direction of some unknown dead animal.

12:18– Look at our first dead dolphin first hand

12:19– Find out from wildlife dude that in 14 years this is the first dead dolphin he’s ever found on the beach

12:22– A crowd has gathered and we decide to leave as the wildlife dude wraps some caution tape around the mouth and fins of our dead friend

12:45– We decide to return with our cell phone to take pictures (camera did not have a memory card!)

12:47– Touched first dead dolphin. It felt like a big rubber ball.

12:48– Nearly spooned with dead dolphin for a picture in poor taste

12:49– Decided not to spoon with dolphin. Posed for other photos.

12:55– State wildlife dudes show up to “take care of” our dead friend

12:57– We find out that “take care of” means that they bury the dolphin on the beach!

12:59– After digging for two minutes the state wildlife dudes hit the water table and realize that they cannot bury the dolphin here

1:00– State wildlife dudes stand there perplexed for at least a minute or two trying to figure out a new solution.

1:05– State wildlife dudes decide to leave the dolphin on the beach. Turns out they didn’t want to touch it to move it up higher on the beach. So instead they decided to let the tide either take it back out to sea or move it higher up on the beach.

1:06– Noble little kid offers to move the dolphin for the state guys for the small payment of one dorsal fin. They rudely decline.

2:30– We return to see if the tide is taking out the dolphin.

2:31– Discover that the tide has not come in yet.

3:30– Go back to the beach to see if the tide is taking out our friend…still not yet

5:00– Return one last time to check on our fishy friend…still there.

The end.