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1. Discovery Lab in Review
2. Ten Percent
3. Bikini’s and Nakedness

I don’t claim to be able to identify which churches are trying to be cool churches. It’s not that easy. There are some really cool churches that actually have little vested interest in being cool, it is actually a byproduct of their commitment to mission and justice. (There’s always something appealing and kind of cool about a person or group who is confident and sure about who they are and what they’re about…even if it’s an “uncool” thing like loving poor people) As far as I am aware, there are only two definite ways of knowing if a church is seriously trying to be cool:

1. You name yourself Cool Church
2. You make your website www.coolchurch.com (Sorry Abundant Life Church but…well…you chose the url!)

Anyway, the reality is that following Jesus is not cool. Dying to yourself is not cool. Loving the unlovely is not cool. Caring for orphans and widows is not cool. Eating meals with those living on the streets is not cool. Following the child of a teenage mom who grew up as a peasant refuge and claimed to be a king only to be murdered as a criminal is not cool. It just isn’t.

When we try to make church cool, we water down what makes us unique, we begin to lose our voice. The Christ follower is invited to be different. And, no, we’re not different because we listen to Michael W. Smith music, we’re not different because we make T-shirts that play off already made products, we’re not different because we don’t sleep in on Sunday mornings, we’re not different because we don’t say cuss words, we’re not different because we don’t smoke cigarettes. I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe that Jesus died so that we could be free from smoking cigarettes. I’m sorry, I just don’t believe that Jesus died so that we could go to church on Sundays. I’m sorry, I don’t believe that Jesus died so that we could say “darn” instead of “damn”. I’m sorry, I don’t believe that Jesus died so that we could listen to poor quality and less innovative music (Oops, I’ve got an obvious bias here). Those are all fine and dandy things, but they have very little to do with following Jesus! (though I do believe that the Sunday gathering CAN and should break this mold). When we make our aim to be cool we shift our focus from trying to please God to trying to please people. There’s a difference between pleasing people and loving, accepting, and caring for people. God invites us to be radical. Cool invites us to be mainstream. Mustard seed is not cool, it’s noxious, it’s an annoying weed, its invasive, and it’s the metaphor Jesus uses for his kingdom. Nope, joining in Jesus’ kingdom movement means that you’re going to be an awkward and annoyingly passionate lover of people. It means that you’re going to choose the path of sacrifice and generosity over the path of power and prestige. It means you love the unlovely (including yourself) it means you love people regardless of whether they are considered cool or un-cool.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

Pursuit of cool and pursuit of crucifixion don’t really mesh. I wish they did because it’s always been my secret dream to be cool. I want it like the desert wants the rain. I grew up a poor black child …I mean, a preachers kid, a homeschooler, I married the only girl I ever kissed…while my experiences cause  me to have a different definition of cool than most, it has always been my dream to be cool. But the more I fall in love with Jesus, the more I get to know him, the more I find myself being freed from the oppression of cool.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Galatians 5:1

Related posts:

1. Death
2. Haiti and the church
3. Church

by Ryan Woods
July – August, 2010

I tried to be a missionary once. I failed. For two years I spent time in a ghetto suburb of Lisbon, Portugal trying to save the world. The world did not get saved. As a matter of fact I did not technically save anybody. I learned to love soccer, I spent time with teenagers and homeless men, and I grew my hair out. But missionaries are supposed to grow churches, see hordes of people come to Jesus, and perfect their altar calls.

I did none of those.

I helped my Angolan musician friend Rey Kuango write lyrics in English. I fed homeless folk and saw a community emerge at our church from their ranks. I provided a place to stay for my friend Nikko away from his cockroach-infested home, where his light fixture consisted of a light bulb and two wires that he shoved into the outlet. But I never performed an altar call. Being a missionary is nearly one of the hardest things I have ever done. But it was nothing compared to what it prepared me for later in my life of ministry.

Jesus’ Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20 says “…go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you…” This scripture has been core to our identity in the Churches of Christ, developing in us a sending mentality, reminding us of the transformation that happens around baptism, and the absolute invitation into the work of evangelism.

This passage, however, does not simply send us to do mission. The “go” that Jesus speaks of is not one of destination. There is no arrival implied in Jesus’ sending words. Rather, in the original language, Jesus’ words tell us that “as we are going” we are to make disciples, invite people into baptism, and teach what obedience looks like.

You see, if we believe that mission work is something that does not simply happen when we step foot onto foreign soil or speak a foreign language – but rather happens in our homes, neighborhoods, work places, grocery stores, and cafés – then our level of commitment to discipleship and evangelism have immediately multiplied exponentially. When ministry is dependent on my going to a particular place or destination I preclude the as-you-go mentality and replace it with a once-I-get-there attitude. Once-I-get-there is controllable. I control when I leave, I control if I leave, I control where I go, I control. When evangelism is defined as something that happens as-I-go, then I had better be ready for life to be messy.

I had better be ready to miss a mission committee meeting when my neighbors water main breaks and he is in need of help.

I had better be willing to stay at work late when my coworker opens up to me about his struggling marriage. I had better learn to accept that people might stop by my messy home uninvited.

I had better take seriously Peter’s words to “always be prepared to give an answer…” because that moment could happen anytime or anywhere, and often it will happen through my actions long before it happens through my words!

Jesus’ invitation to an as-you-are-going life was marked by such words as death, carrying your cross, dying to yourself, and loving your enemy. It is impossible, then, to follow Jesus down this path of being available to the world as-we-go, all the time, at any moment, without following him down the path to death.

Death is a core tenet of the Christian faith. We are to die to ourselves daily to live for the world. We are to die to ourselves daily to allow the Spirit to bring new life in us. We are to die to ourselves daily because we are following a God who did nothing less.

Neither Objects nor Projects

Moments ago as I sat in a local downtown café sipping on the best locally-roasted coffee, my friend and I knocked our mugs together in mini-celebration over the awkward moment that had just passed. You see we were talking about the church that my wife and I are planting in downtown Vancouver and my friend – who is not a Christian – kept accidentally dreaming with me about what this church might look like. While she does not buy into Christianity, she nonetheless is beginning to take ownership of this fledgling church despite the fact that she does not believe. The clinking of glasses was done jokingly to celebrate her acceptance of the inevitability of using the word “we” when talking about this church. At that moment, she allowed my dreaming to be her dreaming, the potential church activities to be her activities, and the conversation immediately twisted to “we” instead of “you”. It was a valuable celebration.

In Jesus’ other commission in Luke 10, we hear him sending his seventy disciples out to the nearby towns to proclaim the kingdom. Surprisingly, however, he sends them out without the necessary provisions. They were sent without money, a bag, or even shoes. Instead they are told to be open to the generosity and hospitality of the people to which they have been sent. In other words, they have been sent in search of partners. Partnership is also important to Matthew’s Great Commission as Jesus states that while authority is his, he is sending us.

Us? He is the one who has the power, but he has commissioned us as his sent agents of hope in his world. Partnership. Jesus invites us to partner with him. The reason this is so key is that when we transition from an arrival mentality of mission to an as-you-are-going mentality, we are challenged to change our view of humanity around us. No longer are they objects of our mission; no longer is their salvation our goal. Our neighbors are those who surround us as-we-are-going and we are invited to see them as fellow journeyers, as partners in journeying through life. If we believe God’s Genesis 1:31 statement that what he has created is very good and if we believe that “For God so loved the world…” was referencing all of God’s created people, then we must believe in the inherent dignity of God’s loved people. Mission is how we live with these people; it is how we die for these people; and it is how we partner with these people as we traverse this life and pursue a new God-ordained future for us all.

My friend does is not a believer, but she is partnering with us in planting a church. What is more shockingly strange: that we are partnering with her or that God has chosen to partner with us?

Boxes not included

If we accept Jesus’ invitation to mission as-we-are-going about our life, we are accepting the inevitability that everything will change. We cannot die to self as-we-are-goingabout life without a change to the way we live. Mission requires intentionality.

My life, as it normally goes, is about me. I go to a church that fits my preferences and feels comfortable to me. I live in a neighborhood that feels safe for me and my family. I prepare food that I like. I eat at restaurants that I prefer. I avoid people who make me uncomfortable. I value my time, my stuff, my ministry, my thoughts, my opinions, myself. I am not terribly different from you; I am not terribly egocentric – I am just being honest about myself. When I look at a photo, guess who I look for first?

The manner in which I go about my life is not wholly transformational nor on mission for Jesus. Yes, I may have a church meeting or ministry that I am involved in, but those are duties that fit within a scheduling block on my full calendar. As-you-are-going does not necessitate more meetings, small groups, or duties. Quite the opposite: As-you-are-goingtranscends scheduling. As a matter of fact, it necessitates a scheduling transcendence because it necessitates availability and spontaneity. If we take a moment to study the life and ministry of Jesus, which we cannot do here, we will discover that much of his ministry happened as he was going. It happened because he was available, he was interrupt-able, he was willing to be spontaneous.

Strangers do not follow our schedules, life does not cater to our wants or preferences, and mission happens in the midst of the messiness of our lives. So to protect ourselves, we create boxes. We are attracted to boxes. Boxes allow me to sing This World is not my Home on Sunday and spend Monday through Saturday storing up treasures on earth. Boxes allow me to act one way with my Christian family and another way with my coworkers. Boxes give me a freedom from accountability to my neighbor. Boxes make me feel safe. Terrifyingly, dying-to-self requires that our boxes to die along with us. This means that we are on mission every moment of every day, available to the Holy Spirit regardless of time, function, or location. We must allow our boxes to be taken down so that a holy availability can then stand. And where there is a person indwelt by the Spirit, available to his neighbor, there is a missionary. Mission becomes our identity. We become missionaries.

Mission Matters

I may have failed at attracting hordes of people to my soapbox sermons in Lisbon and I may fail in planting a church in downtown Vancouver. Death is the paradox of the Christian faith, is it not? “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies…” Through Christ’s death, we find life. Through our death, our neighbors find life. And through their death (celebrated in baptism), they will inherit life.

Mission matters. Mission is to attach the phrase “for the sake of the world” to the end of any Christian statement, structure, schedule, or plan. Mission is the invitation to be salt and light in our neighborhoods, at the car wash, at the café, at work, in the car, and in our Sunday worship gatherings.

Mission is to die to my own preferences in order to love my neighbors preferences more fully.

Mission is to listen first and answer later.

Mission is to heal the sick, care for the needy, mourn with those who mourn, celebrate with those who celebrate, to seek people of peace, to receive as well as give, to worship with our hands, our feet, our bodies, and even with our mouths.

Mission is to wait tables for the sake of the world, to sell homes for the sake of the world, to eat meals for the sake of the world, to gather on Sundays for the sake of the world, to live for the sake of the world.

Mission matters because we have been commissioned by the creator of the universe to partner with him in the unfolding of his alternative reality in our broken world.

So the question must be asked: Will you go on mission? Will you be on mission as you go?

And will you die trying?

Ryan Woods lives in Vancouver, WA where he is an associate minister at the Renovatus Church of Christ, a church plant that he and his wife helped to start in 2005. In 2011 he and his wife will lead a daughter church plant in the downtown district of Vancouver. This church plant will be a grassroots, neighborhood driven church where a group of dedicated Christ followers will live and die for the neighborhood until a sustainable church emerges. Ryan enjoys reading, gardening, coffee, and human interaction. He and his wife Jessica just celebrated their seventh year of marriage and have two kids. For more information you can read at [www.downtown.renovatus.com]  or write him at [ryan@renovatus.com].

Related posts:

1. Death
2. Sunday: What’s the Point?
3. Becoming Missional?

As a Christian Jesus is my ideal starting point. If I want to better understand the mystery of God I should seek to better understand Jesus. If I want to better understand the whole of Scripture I should seek to better understand Jesus. What does God feel and think about suffering? Look at Jesus. What does God feel or think about rejects and freaks? Look at Jesus. What does God think about money, materialism, and consumption? Look at Jesus.

Let me quickly add one caveat before I move on. Things are not simple! Just looking at Jesus is not simple. The reality is that I don’t have a clear picture of Jesus. I only see him through my own world view, through my own baggage. So while it is an incredible and difficult task in a sense to look at Jesus, I do believe that it is a forgiving task full of mercy and grace along the way. One of the beauties of following Him is that he knows my baggage, he knows my (in)ability to comprehend and understand who he is and what he is about. And most importantly he is able to meet me where I am at and create transformation and a new creation despite my ignorance or brokenness!

My purpose in this blog is to talk about church. If we are honest about ourselves we must accept the reality that most of what we practice and believe about church is solely taught or read about in the book of Acts and the letters in the latter half of the Bible. Very little of how we define and practice being the church is founded in our reading and understanding of Jesus. While I do not believe that Paul (who wrote many of those aforementioned letters) and Jesus would disagree with each other or throw down in fisticuffs if given the opportunity, I do think that we have improperly done our theology about church (in biblical theology circles this is called ecclesiology). Similar to how we try to fit Jesus into our understanding of God instead of the other way around, with church we have spent more time trying to fit Jesus into our understanding of Paul. Would things be different if we started with Jesus? Would things be different if we attempted to define what a movement of Jesus followers (church) would look like based on the life and ministry of Jesus himself and then look into Paul and the other New Testament writings to see what they came up with in doing the same process?

Take a step back and think about the early church. What did they have? They had the stories about Jesus. They had the Old Testament. They had their own context. And they had the working of the Holy Spirit. WE, on the other hand, get all that PLUS the stories of what those early faith communities did, what they struggled with, the questions they asked, and the dysfunctions they developed. If I created a formula to better describe how the early followers of Jesus came up with what church looked like, it might look like this:

• Jesus + History (including the Old Testament) + Context + Spirit = first century church

Couldn’t you look at our churches, our ways of defining how to do church and suggest that our formula looks more like this:

• Paul + your grandpa’s context + Spirit = western church

What if we tried to craft a different formula? Would church today look different if we made an authentic effort to live and practice out of this formula:

• Jesus + Church History (including rest of Scripture) + OUR context + Spirit = ?

I’m no scholar, but I know that much of the early churches structures, practices, and disciplines were not new. They were things that they borrowed from out of their own context, history, and surrounding culture. They borrowed things that were of value in following Jesus. We, in turn, have made those things concrete. Have we made the wrong things concrete? Have we inadvertently practiced idolatry by elevating that which is not holy (the practices and structures) to a place of holiness? In Paul’s writings we see a community of people struggling with the equation, with the formula. In those writings we see the churches journey, their story, their “becoming”.

Have we I ignorantly tried to adopt their culture, their context, their problems, and their journey without following their lead? Would it not be more true to their journey, to Scripture, if I was to follow the early churches lead by looking at my Lord, looking at my context, looking at my story (history), and listening/looking for God’s untamed Spirit? I wonder what type of church I would end up with?

Sorry for the heresy. I’m an out loud processor, I grow most through dialog, through putting things out there that I may not even agree with…though, to be perfectly honest, I’m kind of liking what I’ve come up with.

Related posts:

1. The "Old" Testament
2. Grappling with the Ordered Death of Men, Women, and Children
3. Why I’m Getting Plastered Tonight

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon:

where there is doubt, faith ;

where there is despair, hope

where there is darkness, light

where there is sadness, joy

O divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Or, in the words of Jesus…

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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1. The Difference Between Good and Best
2. Richers
3. Blessed

Unless we are prepared to risk injury and death in nonviolent opposition to the injustice our societies foster, we don’t dare even whisper another word about pacifism to our sisters and brothers in those desperate lands. Unless we are ready to die developing new nonviolent attempts to reduce international conflict, we should confess that we never really meant the cross was an alternative to the sword. Unless the majority of our people in nuclear nations are ready as congregations to risk social disapproval and governmental harassment in a clear call to live without nuclear weapons, we should sadly acknowledge that we have betrayed our peacemaking heritage. Making peace is as costly as waging war. Unless we are prepared to pay the cost of peacemaking, we have no right to claim the label or preach the message.

Related posts:

1. Am I Ready to Plant a Church
2. Dirty Jesus
3. Listening to Amos Lee on a Saturday

This is one of my favorite articles I have included in a newsletter yet. Some of you have read Mo’s story from the July 2009 newsletter, well she has written again this month and it includes some very challenging words. I want to encourage you to not be put off by a difference in opinion, theology, or perspective, but to instead hear one person’s journey in raw
and authentic form. The point here is not correct doctrine,
but learning to listen.

___________________________________________

I recently came upon a question posed on an online forum that provoked me. The question, essentially was: If outsiders have
visited church services and found it wanting and don’t want
to go back…what then? A number of people were uncomfortable with the use of the word “outsiders”. Including the person who originally posted the question for discussion. I‘m not. I think it is entirely appropriate. Especially in this context. I am myself an outsider. I was an insider before too.

I was not brought up in a church attending family. In high school I was drawn to a church youth group and fell in love with the church and its congregation. I went all the time. Really. For some reason they gave me a key to the church and I would go at midnight after school football games. I attended every service. I was there for most official church events as well as random off hours. When I felt weird and like I didn’t fit in at school because I was the only Asian kid in a sea of Caucasian faces, I felt safe, accepted and loved at church. I knew the lingo and the secret handshake! I eventually even went to seminary. I had definitely made the conversion from outsider to insider.

Then…I figured out that I am gay. And my church body decided I was an outsider. It was incredibly painful to be disaffected by my spiritual family. It was also frustrating to try to dialogue about my experience and be told I had nothing of value to add to the discussion until I “got right” with god and got rid of “the gay“. In other words, I was still allowed in the building as long as I kept my mouth shut. I was met with rigid legalism and much…MUCH finger shaking. I was NOT met with love. Or compassion. Or a desire to help me talk through this real challenge in my life. Nor was I met with an honest humility that we are all sinners and all sin is repugnant to God’s eyes. I don’t think being gay is a sin, but was never allowed to articulate my convictions. My experience is mirrored nationally. The church community I loved has declared war on my gay brothers and sisters. And me. So I left.

Now here I am, an outsider again. I went to other churches for awhile. It’s funny. If you attend services there is always a break for folks to greet each other and welcome newcomers. There is a new attendee (outsider) form you are encouraged to fill out so the church can follow up with you. I can attest from personal experience, of the 37 different churches I went to and filled out their form. (I did mention I was gay and not conflicted about it.) Exactly zero ever followed up with me. Periodically I get a longing to attend services and be part of a spiritual family that is working to build stronger communities through practical demonstration of God’s love. Mostly I squelch it. So we are back to the original question. If outsiders have visited church services and found it wanting and don’t want to go back…what then? This is me. I don’t want to keep bruising myself against the un-Christ-like inflexibility of an organized church. I don’t want to be the object lesson of how sanctified (read sanctimonious) YOU are because your sins aren’t political hot buttons. Hello….glass house…stones.

I don’t know if I can ever believe in God again. I do know that if I am ever likely to, it won’t be from attending a church service. Tried that. Found it wanting. Don’t want to go back. End of story, right? Until I met an unusual Christian who doesn’t judge me or preach to me. Simply shares the stories of his life with me and is interested in the stories of my life. I don’t feel he has an agenda with me. Like some spiritual salesperson earning his eternal commission. (You know you’ve met them) I am extremely sensitive to “fake” concern over my spiritual wellbeing and threats of damnation if I don’t correct my behavior. Yet this Christian man never triggers my alarms. When I am around him or his wife I periodically think I may catch glimpses of Christ out of the corners of my eyes. I feel welcomed back into the discussion. I may or may not find my way back to the church again. But for the first time in many years I am engaged in an internal AND external dialogue about it that feels productive. Christians are called to go into the world (great commission stuff). I personally have only met two who are doing that. It renews my hope if not yet my faith to know that there are Christians willing to. It is scary to leave your comfortable church and your comfortable assumptions and meet “outsiders” where they are. It’s scary. It’s also what you are called to do.
—Mo

Related posts:

1. Church Thoughts
2. Storytelling
3. Becoming Missional?

A photograph is an illusion. An illusion, not an allusion…though I’m sure you could allude to things in photographs…The whole concept of snapshots, in whatever field of study, gives the illusion that you are capturing life. But you are not. What I love about quality photographers is that they’re able to capture images that I did not even see. We may be looking at the same object but they see and capture that object from a perspective that was invisible to me. The photographer captured an aspect of their own perspective, but they did not capture reality. Reality is three dimensional, it is fluid, and dynamic.

But don’t get caught up too much in the photography application, because I think it’s a much bigger thing that just photos. My wife was learning the other day about how we test our bodies. X-rays, blood tests, etc. are all ways of taking snapshots of our body in order to asses health. But the problem with these snapshots is that in reality our bodies never sit still as they do for those snapshots. In reality our aches and pains are rarely experienced statically and neither does our body function internally in a static manner. At any given moment our body has numerous functions, cycles, and changes. If we then take a quick snapshot of what is happening in our body at a given moment all we learn is what is happening in our body at that given moment or in that particular stance or with that particular food in our body or…etc. Our body is so incredibly dynamic and fluid that snapshots do not do it justice! They do not capture health (or lack thereof) effectively. And, yet, virtually all of our methods for testing our bodies are based upon a static image.

The third aspect that this idea of a deficit snapshot came up is in defining culture. When someone asks me to tell them about Portland or Vancouver they’re usually asking me to explain the “culture of the Northwest”. What I proceed to do is define a snapshot of the NW. Funky, weird, liberal, creative, coffee, beer, McMenamins…This is what cultural anthropology originally set out to do, define and articulate culture. Missionaries will spend time studying the culture that they are preparing to go serve. We speak of churches having a specific culture. But what in the world does that even mean?! If a specific church has a culture are we referring to the youth group? Are we referring to how the elders operate? Are we referring to their history? What about the young families that are trying to bring change? What “culture” are we referring to? Culture is so incredibly fluid and changing, like a stream, that rather than being capable of capturing it with a snapshot maybe our goal should be to run along side it as much as we’re capable. A snapshot gives the illusion of understanding, but in reality all you’ve captured is your own lens. When you describe or capture a culture all you’ve done is created an image that says “here’s how I view this world in front of me from my own unique perspective” even if a missionary goes to a rural African village, lives in a hut for thirty years, an in every way lives with (and like) the people, he will still always be a white dude that made a choice to live in that manner and could at any moment choose to leave. He will always be understanding that culture from his perspective.

Snapshots serve a purpose, but I fear that in many ways we have allowed them to too greatly define reality as we understand and articulate it. I wonder about the snapshots we’ve used to define faith, the Biblical story, and what it means to follow Jesus.

I think our greatest hope is in the pursuit of bigger ears (listening), bigger hearts (empathy), and an understanding of our limits.

* Please don’t get me wrong, I love photography!

Related posts:

1. The Freedom to Choose
2. Heresy
3. Apocacentric

One author questions that formula by retelling the Prodigal Son story like this:

…when the son returns from his partying and recognizes the error of his ways, his father responds by saying “I cannot simply forgive you…it would be against the moral order of the entire universe…Such is the severity of my justice that reconciliation will not be made unless the penalty is utterly paid. My wrath-my avenging justice-must be placated.” The prodigal sons older brother then offers to do extra work in teh fields and pay his brother’s penalty. And finally when the elder brother died of exhaustion, the father’s wrath was placated against his younger son and they lived happily for teh remainder of their days.

Do you buy that retelling? Do you buy our current definition? Are you unsettled? Are you comfy? Speaking personally, I’ve got some questions that I’m pursuing.

Enough said.

Related posts:

2. Hate that is socially acceptable
3. Ladies and Lentlemen

Anyway, tonight I asked him why he didn’t order his regular dessert and he said it was because he was feeling sick. “I’m loosing weight you know” he said. When I asked him about it he said that he was dying. “It’s a losing battle. My body is done and my time is short. I won’t be around much longer.” Fighting against awkwardness and finding it easy to ignore my duties as the manager that night I asked him what it felt like to know or think that your life is nearly done. “I”m OK with it, you can’t grow old and be a sissy! I’m ready to go because I have lived a full life and I’ve been everywhere I want to go. My only fear is that I will outlive my body. Nothing terrifies me more than losing my independence.” “Do you have someone to take care of you if that happens?” He said that he didn’t, that his sister lives far away and can barely afford her own life let alone his.

Somehow the conversation turned to Winston Churchill at this point. He recommended his favorite Churchill biography and I wrote down the title. He told me a story or two about Churchill and FDR, how for a longtime Churchill was the leader of the free world. I told him that I was taking an extended leave of absence from the restaurant and he said he’d miss me. I got his address and phone number and suggested that we find a way to talk when I’m done working.

He has ridden his motorcycle across the United States, he’s worked as a newspaper reporter, owned a publishing company in Hollywood, seen the death of his parter of 37 years, travled around the world multiple times, and now he prefers to watch TV and read books.

I think that I would fear losing my independence too if I was without community. I think that when you live in community you’ve already experienced what it’s like to lose your independence and it no longer seems quite as terrifying. I want my friend to live with my family, to not die alone. I probably should have said something about hope in the resurrection or something like that (I mean, I am a church planter) but I just listened instead.

Related posts:

1. Dead, Dying, and my Hurting Heart
2. My little coffee friend
3. Quote: Richard John Neuhaus, “Born Toward Dying”